What's up with that guy in the supermarket line who proceeds to tell you his life story in the span of five minutes? Everyone should know this story and unfortunately I had the priviledge of dealing with "Supermarket line life story" yesterday mourning. To begin with, I fell asleep the night before the incident at 7pm so naturally I woke up early. I got out of bed around 5:30am and was mad hungry. I decided to go to the store because I was dying for some Count Cocula. At the store I grabbed some 2% and the Count Chocula and proceeded to the only checkout line available. The line was fairly long and I got the pleasure of being stuck behind "the one". I spot this guy instantly and realize this bastard is going to talk my ear off. He stood medium height with an old cap on with a growing mullet. He smelled like ass and his teeth were far and few between. Shockingly the only item he was purchasing was a twelve pack of Miller High Life. I walk up to the line silently hoping to pass under his radar. After a minute or so he turns around and starts talking. Apparently I resemble Dr. Katz even though I'm not bald nor a Jew. This guy gives you all the goods on his life thinking your his temporary psychiatrist. After two minutes of his incoherent speech he stops and takes a breath and at that time I pointed to his Miller High Life and asked "starting early" he replies, "no just finishin up". After he's done with his crappy life story he then continues on by talking about current events. This is all you need, a drunk redneck telling you his opinion on the world at large. He spews on about gas prices, President Bush, and how is gun rack broke in his Ford F-150...I don't know I wasn't really paying attention. Of course the checkout line took forever and was only made worse buy this guy. Not to mention by the time they get to the checkout lady they have started giving their story to the checkout lady as well. I would give a plea calling for all the guys in the Supermarket line who tell their whole life story to us poor victims to please stop, but of course they are all to busy irritating people in line as we speak, but more importantly none of them no how to read anyways so the plea would good unnoticed. The moral of the story is...if your in desperate need of some grub at 6am in the mourning, skip your local supermarket and go pick up some freakin Mcgriddles and avoid the fatal "Supermarket line life story".
